I had already started changing the visibility of my posts on here but I figured I would make a proper post about it.
There isn't much of a particular reason behind this, I just realized I probably say a lot of shit about a lot of people that I shouldn't but since that isn't going to stop me, as of now....

Every day I am more and more amazed at the stupidity of conservative Americans.
I just got done watching a documentary about the McCain supporters during the election and I can't even tell you how many times the interviewees mentioned seeing "666" in the eyes of Obama and the fact that they countlessly compared him to Hilter made me laugh because watching that documentary felt like I was watching Nazi supporters denounce the Jews.


I don't think I will ever come to terms with that fact that I swim in a sea of Up Tight, Racist, Conservative Republicans.

Basically to make a long story short, on my way out there with Angie's sister and dad, Angie and the boyfriend she apparently had a reason for not telling me anything about, got into a huge fight over me being there and he went crazy and punched a telephone pole.
I of course opted out and turned around.
I'm not getting into some crazy bullshit like that.
And I am extremely angry that she neglected to tell me her boyfriend was a fucking psycho.
So, I'd rather have my bad boyfriend than someone else's.

The end.



New chapter.

Please.
Dear God.
Make her go away.
















I no longer want a Doppelganger.
It is now, just plain insulting.

I feel so appreciated in this relationship.












2 Days.

With the days ticking away, a lot has come to light.
For example, I found out today, how his family really feels about me.
Apparently I'm a self righteous, gold digging, untrustworthy whore.

Well maybe they should know that I'm really leaving because they're slovenly, disgusting, rude, poor ass, bitter, ignorant, red neck, retarded, incestuous, assholes.




2 days.

This is fine.
The way I look at it, I'll just go away and you'll never have to see me again.
Because that's how you're all acting.
Why should you get your knickers in a twist when everything in your life will continue on as normal, right?



















3 days to go.
And the only person bothering to speak to me, is my soon to be roommate.
That's okay.
I won't miss you either.

Not a lot going on.
Got into a funky sleeping schedule and woke up at like midnight.
Probably need to start packing sometime soon seeing as I'm leaving Monday.
I'm excited about moving but I feel kind of...I don't know, weird about it, like this time last year I never thought I would be uprooting again and changing my entire life around.
But I mean, I get out now or I get out never.
It's what I need to do, it is.


Been watching The Office lately and am quite the fan, so my icons have been changed out to some from The Office and my mood theme is now John Krasinski.
Also changed my layout, it's just a bit simple, Narnia.

That's about all for now.
Will update again before I leave on Monday.

Can I just say....wow.
Absolutely, positively WOW.


That was just....like....seeing heaven.

In the form of a nicely shaped backside.

I believe I have finally admitted the one thing that has been holding me back for nearly a year.


He asked me what he has done to drive me away and all I can think is that, he doesn't love me.
He has told me that he doesn't and that he probably wouldn't for a long time and yet for some reason I have wanted nothing more than for him to love me back.

But today as he walked out of the room, looked at me and asked "I know, you hate me."
It dawned on me and all I could say was this.
"I don't hate you....I'd have to love you in order to hate you."

I don't love him.
I never have.
I was so wrapped up in this idea of a serious relationship that I allowed myself to lie.
But I know now, I never loved him because I knew he wouldn't love me back.
And what serious, working, happy relationship is going to last if you won't love them?









Not ours.

It's official.
We're going to give the landlord the rent and get the house, tomorrow.
Next monday, I'm moving out.

It's getting on in the late hours of the morning and I really should go to sleep.
But I really want to watch more of The Innocence Project, so maybe...just one more episode.

I changed out all of my stuff on LJ.
Got a new Milo Ventimiglia layout and mood theme and an assortment of fandom icons.

Not a lot going on.
Here in about two weeks I will officially be moving and I'm gonna dance a happy dance as I drive away from the house I know I will never have to look at, ever ever again.
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaye.

I can't really remember a time that has happened when I was younger and I don't know if this counts but someone made their own lyrics to a song and now, even though I know the real lyrics, whenever I hear the song, I hear the made up lyrics.

And her name is Poppy Tyler.
Poppy loves everything I would be too ashamed to admit I love and I'm pretty sure she's English.
But at this point,  I have officially lost my mind.
Mmhmm.







But last night, I watched City Of Ember and I quite enjoyed it.
I don't see why it didn't do so well in the cinema because it was well good.

Omgomgomgomgomg
Janto makeout scene!!!!!!

I have never known a person who was so disrespectful and self-fulfilling since I got away from my father.
I had decided to lay the fate of where I went in the hands of what job I got, here or Georgetown.
But Fuckerfuckfacebastard has taken it upon himself to make me feel like shit about even considering leaving.
Every chance he gets he goes on about me abandoning him and leaving him and now he's throwing solutions in my face that would help me get a car and drive and mean I could stay here with him.
It's not about having a car and freedom, it's about getting out of this HOUSE, about getting away from HIM.
I'm sick of relying on him and his family, and not even a car is going to change that.
I'm suck of being stuck here because I have no where else to go.
I'm fucking done.
I'm gone.
I'm leaving and not looking back at him because I refuse to be treated this way.
I have no reason to feel guilty for leaving, I feel that my life is going nowhere with him and I refuse to put my life on hold so he can be happy.
So I have made my decision.
I don't give a FUCK what job I get, I'm leaving here, now, as soon as possible.
I am so far gone from being in this shit anymore.
Fuck you.

First of all I would to thank Kristy and Marie for the absolutely awesome shirt <3


Also, in other news, I got my phone!!
I loves it, it's amazing.
It took me a bit to get use the keyboard but I got it down now and I don't think I will ever part from my baby.
I named him Theo.
Why, you might ask.
Because I can.
And so I did.


I'm also quite in a another series, sad thing is, it was canceled after the first season so I don't know why I'm letting myself get into it.
But on that note, I'm gonna watch another episode of The Innocence Project.

Ta-ra.

Ever have one of those days where everything just falls into place you are just so relieved you almost can't handle it.
Because that's how I feel about now.
Thank you, everyone.

I still don't know what to do.
I've been given all different angles of advice and yet, I'm still drawing a blank.
One has said to move out now, one has said to wait and the other has to do what I need to do.
The thing is, I'm half and half.
Part of me wants to wait and move out with Emi.
But then I think of how that will be months from now and I'm seriously not going to last long here and then what if it falls through due to job situations or something, because if I move out and presumably break up with The Boy and then it falls through, I have nothing to go back on, I will be pretty much screwed.
And part of me wants to go with Angie.
But again there's the situation of it not working out and I won't have anything to fall back on once again; and if I do this I feel like I'm bailing on Emi and I don't want to abandon my friends like that.
I seriously don't know what to do and I'm about to pack up and move into a cardboard box for all it matters.